Some people just aren’t as approachable as others. You understand, you have Resting Bitch Face.

Yeah, you look young now, but that shit’s going to drop like a bomb at some point.

Hey, you got your hair cut! They really messed up the side, didn’t they?

You know, if you’re going to wear lipstick that bright, you could really benefit from some blush. You look like an 80′s prom ghost.

I remember when you used to dress normal.

You look like Ashlee Simpson. Pre-nose job, of course.

Congratulations on eating an adult portion of your sandwich. You almost finished the whole thing!

I’m really glad you don’t have bangs anymore.

He’s pretty attractive. You’ll probably have to join a gym to keep up with that.

That pixie cut made you look like Justin Bieber.

Remember when you had that mullet? No? Well, I do.